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Finding the Words

Lately, I keep wishing
I was smarter

Or, maybe ‘smarter’
Is the wrong word

Maybe I just wish
I was more articulate
Or--insightful

Insightful
Is probably
The right word

I wish I could
Find the words

I think we’re all
Sort of feeling that way

It’s like we’re all close
To something
But we don’t know what it is
And we’re just hoping it’s not
You know
The Nuclear Apocalypse

It’s as if we’re all collectively
Sitting in a car
Listening to a sad song
On the radio
And it’s raining outside
And we really don’t want to get out of the car
But we know we have to
Eventually

That’s how I feel
On a daily basis now

I’m not, you know
Depressed…I don’t think

But that might be because
I associate depression
With isolation
And it feels odd
To feel what feels like depression
And have so many other people
Publicly feeling
The exact same thing

There should be a word for that
And I can’t find it

I just can’t find the word
The words
The words to describe
What’s happening right now
To me
To everybody

And for a writer
That’s just--

I mean, it never feels good
When you’re having a hard time
Expressing yourself
But when you literally cannot find a word
To describe your own identity
In a given moment

But you’re a writer?

On top of everything else
You just feel like
You’ve failed
At something

Something integral
To who you are

I wish there was a word

I wish there was a word

For all of that

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