Theater and Social Media

This week’s interview is with a friend who

recently decided to take a break from

both social media and theater after

being a performer and writer since

they were in high school.

This is the interview.

ME:  Can you hear me okay?

THEM:  Sounds good.

ME:  Great.  How are you?

THEM:  I’m well.  How are you?

ME:  It’s been a week.

THEM:  It has been--a week.

ME:  I wanted to talk to you because

when we were emailing about having

this conversation, you told me that

you took a break from theater the

same day you took a break from

social media.

THEM:  That’s right.

ME:  So that’s how I want to sort of

--angle the interview.  Unless you

tell me that they’re not related.

THEM:  No, I think they’re--They’re

very related.

ME:  So did quitting one lead to

quitting the other?

THEM:  I--I kind of made the decision

all at once, but I--I think it was this

realization that both, um, things,

were creating the same kind of

turmoil for me?

ME:  How so?

THEM:  It was just this--I’m trying

to think of a nice way of saying,

‘People were being fake.’

ME:  Just say ‘People were being

fake.’

THEM:  People were being fake.

ME:  So you felt like that was happening

with the people you knew from

theater as well as on social media?

THEM:  Well, what I really felt was

that social media was turning

everyone into theater people.

ME:  What do you mean?

THEM:  There’s that old cliche of

theater people in movies or plays

where, like, they’re all obsessed

with themselves, they only talk

about themselves, they’re very

driven, but it leads them to come

across as almost not human--and

not every theater person is like

that, but that’s what we think of as,

like, the worst of us, right?  And

that’s how my entire Newsfeed

was looking before I decided to

just leave.

ME:  And do you think that while

that cliche may have been an

outlier in the past, social media

was contributing to it becoming

more common within the theater

community?

THEM:  Totally.  You have people

who are, like, sophomores in

college majoring in theater talking

about content creation and platforms.

  Like, what is going on?

ME:  You taught college too,

didn’t you?

THEM:  I was an adjunct at a college.

  It was wild. Students are having

one-on-one meetings with you where

they’re telling you that their goal is to

be famous.  That that’s why they’re

studying theater. It’s discouraging,

for sure.

ME:  So it sounds like disingenuousness,

which we’ve talked about in these

interviews before, was really a

deciding factor for you?

THEM:  I just don’t know how to play

that game, man.  And I know you’ve

talked about the game before too,

and there are a lot of things about it

that I just can’t get behind.

ME:  Do you see yourself as this purist

who just wants to make art?

THEM:  No, I’d love to make a living

at it as well, but I’m not willing to

totally put myself out there the way

it seems like you have to in order

to do that.

ME:  Can you explain that a bit?

THEM:  You think about, like, old

movie stars, and how we knew nothing

about them--that was part of how they

were allowed to make their art.  Or

writers. Artists. Visual artists. Just

people who--Who weren’t expected

to have an Instagram and a Twitter

and make their lives this open book

that everybody could access.  I get

wanting to have a lot of engagement

with somebody whose art you like,

but you’re not entitled to that. That

shouldn’t be mandated. And I think

that’s where we’re at now, and, on

a lower level--the level I was at--you

have people telling the whole world

every detail of their lives trying to

mimic these celebrities who are

doing the same thing, but for no

reason.  Just because to them it

seems like mimicking is, you know,

the quickest way to get there. The

work would take too long.

ME:  I have to--It was bound to happen

that I was going to have to admit that

I’m pretty into social media.

THEM:  Yeah, we’re friends, I noticed.

ME:  (Laughs.)  But I don’t disagree

with anything you’re saying.

THEM:  Do you think you’re addicted

to it?

ME:  Oh, absolutely.  I absolutely

am.

THEM:  Have you thought about

doing something about it?

ME:  Like take a break after writing

an eight-page press release about it?

THEM:  (Laughs.)  Or just taking the

break.

ME:  I don’t know.  I still find it to be a

useful way to communicate despite

literally all the studies that say it’s not.

THEM:  Do you see the kind of stuff

I was talking about?

ME:  All the time.  I did promise myself

that this year I was going to start hiding

more people.

THEM:  Hiding or unfriending.

ME:  Unfriending is very aggressive, so

I just hide.  I unfollow.

THEM:  You think it’s aggressive?

ME:  It’s very aggressive.  It’s a statement.

Look, I don’t care if people are saying

‘I don’t like social media.’  That’s fair.

But to act like it’s not a thing--it’s a thing.

And the things we do on it are real interactions

that mean something.  So to unfriend

someone and then be like ‘Oh, it doesn’t

mean anything’--it absolutely means

something.

THEM:  I agree with that.

ME:  Do you think you could go back to

theater without getting back on social

media?

THEM:  It would be tough, I think,

because now they’re so interconnected. 

It’s how we find out about shows and

auditions and everything else. It was

one thing when we didn’t have social

media and we were all doing that work

together, but now, you’re the odd man

out so the work of not being on social

media while trying to keep yourself

engaged in theater just seems overwhelming.

ME:  Yeah, I have a friend who quit

social media and has since missed

every important event in the life of

everyone she knows, and she keeps

using not being on social media as

the reason.

THEM:  And how do you feel about

that?

ME:  I feel like if you want to go back

to 1998, that’s cool, but then it’s on

you to do that work you’re talking

about and stay engaged the

old-fashioned way by picking up

the phone every once in awhile.

THEM:  So you think some people

use a social media break as a way

to just totally remove themselves

from the world?

ME:  Yup.

THEM:  Do you think they’re allowed

to do that?

ME:  Yes, but say that’s what you’re

doing.  Don’t say it’s just about social

media. It’s bigger than that.

THEM:  It was bigger than that for me,

for sure.  I wanted a clean cut. I just

wanted out.

ME:  Of the world in general?

THEM:  Theater was my world, so

that’s how it felt.

ME:  Do you still feel that way?

THEM:  No, now I get that there’s a

much bigger world out there than

what I thought.

ME:  That’s good to hear.

THEM:  And there are ways to be

creative and express that creativity

and start to slowly make these new

connections and new friendships.

ME:  You don’t think you had any

real friendships while you were

doing theater?

THEM:  I had--I had some, yeah. 

I did.

ME:  How have those been going

lately?

THEM:  They’re okay.  They’re

different, but they’re okay.

ME:  Different in what way?

THEM:  They think they can’t talk

about theater around me.  Like how

people who drink feel weird drinking

around their friends.

ME:  Do you care if they talk

about theater?

THEM:  No, it’s, um...It’s interesting

hearing about it now as someone

who really isn’t involved in it.

ME:  How does it sound to you now?

THEM:  Funny. Just funny.  Which

is great. It’s great to be able to

laugh at it, but I know my friends

take it so seriously, and so I try

to respect that.

ME:  Do you miss it?

THEM:  Every so often, yeah.  You

know what I really miss?  Going

out after shows. I loved that.

ME:  That’s what you loved?

THEM:  I loved the work too, but

sometimes the work sucked, but

going out after was always fun. 

I always really loved it.

ME:  I’m trying to go out more, but

I never used to.

THEM:  Why not?

ME:  I did when I was in college

and then when I started my own

company, I just stopped.

THEM:  Why?

ME:  It just--being at the theater

as an Artistic Director, even just to

work front of house, and even when

things were going well, it was...For

me, it was taxing.  It still is. It’s a

little more exhausting than being

there in some other capacity.

THEM:  Why do you think that is?

ME:  I don’t know.  Because you’re

worrying about--everything.

THEM:  So then socializing after

was hard?

ME:  And I thought it would be good

to let everybody talk s*** about me.

THEM:  (Laughs.)  Are you kidding?

ME:  No, I think it’s healthy.  You

need to talk s*** about the AD. 

It keeps you sane.

THEM:  You have strange ways of

keeping sane.

ME:  Mhmmm.  Like interviewing

somebody about quitting social

media and then putting the interview

on social media.

THEM:  You should take a little break.

ME:  How about I take a break and you

get back on and run all my accounts

for me for a week.

THEM:  As you?

ME:  Yes.

THEM:  A Kevin Broccoli take-over?

ME:  Yes--as me.

THEM:  Oh I would enjoy that.

ME:  We should do it.

THEM:  I would enjoy that very much.

ME:  Let’s talk about it.

THEM:  Let’s.

Them has been out of theater and off

social media for two years, but might

be making a return as Kevin in the

near future.