Theater and A Lifetime Achievement

Last week, I switched things up a little bit and centered an interview around helping out a theater company that needed some financial bolstering.

This week's interview hits a little closer to home, since I've known the person I'll be speaking with for a little over a year now.

While we've never met in person, I think our friendship shows that connection and geography are not mutually exclusive.

Here's the interview:

ME:  You reached out to me when I first posted about wanting to take a break from theater.

THEM:  I did.

ME:  Do you remember what you said?

THEM:  I said 'Quit tomorrow.'

ME:  Then you messaged me the next day and said--

THEM:  'Quit tomorrow.'

ME:  You've messaged me almost every day since then.

THEM:  That's right.

ME:  But one day you forgot, and then I quit.

THEM:  That's because you didn't pick up the phone that day.

ME:  That's a lie.  I always pick up the phone when you call.

THEM:  I don't call as much anymore.  I'm getting more used to being on the computer.

ME:  Is that the result of quarantine?

THEM:  It's something I wanted to do when I retired, so--

ME:  You were a teacher.

THEM:  I am a teacher for the next few months.

ME:  How are you teaching theater right now?

THEM:  It's a challenge, but I love my kids.  They're so funny and they're so--they're brave.  I can't get over their bravery.  They're braver than I am.

ME:  And you teach acting classes in the evenings as well?

THEM:  For a theater that I've worked at for many, many years.

ME:  That's right.  How long have you been doing theater?

THEM:  I was in an outdoor production of Midsummer when I was four-years-old.  My father used to build sets.  He built beautiful sets and he would bring me to rehearsal.  That started it all.

ME:  So you were an actor?

THEM:  An actor, then--I did everything.

ME:  When did you start teaching?

THEM:  Forty-two years ago.

ME:  That's incredible.

THEM:  It went by fast, I have to say.

ME:  And how did you find me?

THEM:  One of my students found your monologues online and asked if she could do one.  I started looking at your work and then you accepted my friend request.

ME:  And here we are.

THEM:  Here we are.

ME:  What made you want to reach out to me when I said I was thinking of quitting?

THEM:  I could just tell that you were frustrated in the way that people your age get frustrated, because they've put all these deadlines in place for when they need to have accomplished certain things, and I felt that theater wasn't done with you yet and you weren't done with theater.  I turned out to be right.

ME:  Had you ever thought about quitting?

THEM:  I think it's natural when you have a relationship with a passion--a lifelong passion--to have some doubt show up and test that relationship.  For a long time, when I first started teaching, I was one foot in the door and one foot out.  I was teaching during the day and running to rehearsals at night for other things, and I had to--I had to sit myself down and ask what was most important.  Because I knew there would come a time when I was going to have to choose one or the other or risk doing a disservice to my work and to all these students who were counting on me.  Something pulled me in the direction of teaching, and then once that happened, I found it much easier to balance continuing to work, continuing to act, to direct, because I knew what the priorities needed to be.  You can have more than you think, but you always have to go back to what's most important.

ME:  And that's worked out well.

THEM:  It has.

ME:  What will you miss about teaching?

THEM:  I'll miss the kids.  I'll miss the first day of school this Fall.  I will...I'll miss the satisfaction that comes from seeing a student get it.  When they have that moment and something clicks for them.  When you're a theater teacher--any teacher, but in theater--there's this clear evolution that happens over the course of a few years where you see these students--through the humanities--become the human beings you're going to see go out in the world.  That's very rewarding for me.

ME:  Are you retiring from teaching and theater or just teaching?

THEM:  I'm taking a break from all of it for now.

ME:  Quit tomorrow.

THEM:  You shut up.

ME:  (Laughs.)  Listen, turnabout is fair play.

THEM:  I'm interested in doing some writing.

ME:  Really?

THEM:  Maybe you could help me with that.

ME:  I would be happy to.

THEM:  It's the one thing I was always too scared to do.

ME:  Why were you scared to do it?

THEM:  It felt vulnerable in a way that was much deeper than acting.  Do you find that?

ME:  It can be, yeah.  But it's probably the--for me, it's how I feel I express myself the best.

THEM:  Because there's no barrier between you and the people receiving the work?

ME:  Yes.

THEM:  I'm excited to try it then.

ME:  Now, I know before all this started, [Name of Theater] was actually hosting a retirement party for you?

THEM:  Yes, it was a farewell party even though I'm not going anywhere.

ME:  And you were going to get an award, right?

THEM:  They were going to give me some kind of lifetime achievement award, which I called the 'You're Dead to Us Now' award.

ME:  Not if you become a successful playwright.

THEM:  Stranger things have happened.

ME:  Ain't that the truth.

THEM:  I was looking forward to it, but I understand why they had to cancel it.

ME:  And obviously they can't reschedule right now.

THEM:  I don't know if they'll be able to reschedule at all.

ME:  Well, I have some news about that.

THEM:  About rescheduling?

ME:  The thing is--you're not getting any younger--

THEM:  (Laughs.)  You little a******.

ME:  (Laughs.)  So I thought--why wait to hear what everybody has to say about you?

THEM:  What did you do, Kevin?

ME:  I spoke with [Name]--

THEM:  Another little sneak.

ME:  --And we started reaching out to people to ask if they would be interested in writing to you or filming videos for you and then we were going to compile them altogether in a Google drive--

THEM:  What?

ME:  You know what a Google Drive is?

THEM:  (Laughs.)  Don't be cute.

ME:  They're very useful.

THEM:  People wrote to me?

ME:  Oh, they did a lot more than that.

THEM:  What did they do?

ME:  Once we started reaching out to people, it was like an avalanche.  I've never seen anything like it.  Do you know how many messages we have for you?

THEM:  Am I going to get emotional?

ME:  I got a little emotional.

THEM:  How many?

ME:  There are currently over six hundred.

THEM:  No.

ME:  And still going up.

THEM:  No, no, no.

ME:  There are videos.  There are old photos with messages attached.  There are letters that are pages and pages long all about you from students and co-workers and people who've worked with you at the theater--

THEM:  I can't believe that.

ME:  People are coming out of the woodwork to say 'Thank you.'

     (Pause.)

You okay?

THEM:  Thank you, Kevin.

ME:  Well, this was my way of thanking you, because you really--you, um...You know, I've never had to take a second when doing these.

THEM:  Now you're in the hot seat.

ME:  (Laughs.)  I just know I was in such rough shape, and you reached out--you never met me, you had no idea who I was, really, and you told me to keep going and, um, you know my--the hardest part for me is that dumb, cliched thing of, ugh, believing in myself.  And I'll never forget, we were talking one night, it was so late, you had school the next day, but I was having a meltdown at 3am, as I'm known to do, and, um, you said 'If you don't believe it for yourself, everybody else in the world believing in you isn't going to matter.'

THEM:  You were paraphrasing but--

ME:  (Laughs.)  You just kept saying it, and then--just all of a sudden, I heard it.

THEM:  That's what I was talking about with my students.  That moment where it clicks.

ME:  It did, it clicked, and--when I heard that you--that you weren't going to get to have this moment for yourself where people could celebrate you, and you just see this outpouring of love from all these people--you achieved something really special.

THEM:  Thank you.

ME:  There are people--I mean, I didn't want to look at the messages, because they're private, but I'm in this thread with [Name] and to hear all these people saying '[They] saved my life. [They] saved my life.'  And you really--in a very real way, you saved my life too.  Because you helped me remember what I wanted for my life and what I didn't need to hold onto.  It's--it's really incredible, and you deserve to be celebrated for that.

THEM:  That was just my job.

ME:  Well, you did a hell of a good job.

THEM:  I'm excited to get to read what everybody had to say.

ME:  Now, you do it however you want, but I know we've talked about making our way through this, and actually, if you limit yourself to one message a day, by the time you're done, quarantine will be over.

THEM:  You know, I might just do it that way.

ME:  I'm just full of good ideas.

THEM:  Is this one of your new ideas?  Good deeds?

ME:  It's just temporary until people want to get snarky again.

THEM:  I really like it, Kevin.

ME:  Well, wait until you see what I've got for next week.

THEM:  I can't wait.  I'm looking forward to it.

ME:  It's nice to have things to look forward to.

THEM:  It certainly is.

Them is a theater teacher, actor, director, and soon-to-be playwright.