The Community and The Anchorman

 

Two years ago, I started interviewing people in the theater world about the problems within that community.

All the subjects of the interviews remained anonymous to encourage people to speak directly and plainly without worrying that there would be consequences down the line.

(Of course, even then, some people felt like outing themselves and getting in hot water, but we're going to leave that water under another bridge.)

When I decided it was time to bring the series to a close, it was partly because I thought it had run its course, and partly because I had a new topic I wanted to tackle.

While I've had my issues with theater and the people who do it, I've never felt like I didn't belong there, whereas from the moment I came out, I've never truly felt like a part of the gay community.

To be clear, that probably has way more to do with me than the community, but it's something I wanted to explore, and I knew how I wanted to do it.

The theater interviews were always conducted with people who didn't live anywhere near me, and there was a reason for that. We like to think that if we can attach a problem to someone we know, we can fix the problem, and I've never found that to be the case. Problems within systems are not caused by any one person, but the system itself. That's the case in theater, and I believe it's the same for the LGBTQI+ community.

So I picked a city far from my own, and I started reaching out to gay men in that city. I spent a few months following as many of them as I could on social media, and then I began asking if I could interview them. The goal was to see if we could address some of the issues of the modern gay community and get to the heart of those issues while hopefully find some solutions.

Today I'm going to be speaking with a friend in the Community who has dated one of the most, um, notable residents of 35 West, a building that I've been looking into over the past few weeks.

Here's the interview:

ME:  Asa, what's that in your background?

ASA:  It's, uh, I got this painting from a yard sale--

ME:  It's beautiful.

ASA:  I have art now. I'm a person with art.

ME:  You're such an adult.

ASA:  I'm thinking of getting a coffee press.

ME:  Okay, Eva Gabor, calm down. Let's do the basics first--Age?

ASA:  I am thirty-one with a thirty waist.

ME:  And how long have you lived in the Community?

ASA:  All my life.

ME:  And we met through Silas, who I spoke with last week.

ASA:  Yes.  He's responsible for whatever this is.

ME:  This frenemyship.

ASA:  That, yes.

ME:  And when I started looking into 35 West, Silas wanted to tell me about the Hypnotist, and you wanted to tell me about--what can we call him?

ASA:  Can we just call him the Anchorman?

ME:  Because he's an Anchorman? This is turning into Batman with the villains.

ASA:  These queers wish they could be Batman villains, Kevin.

ME:  So he's the Anchorman, and that's what he does.

ASA:  Yes, he's a local anchorman.

ME:  And you're sort of famous yourself.

ASA:  Sort of?  Excuse me?

ME:  You were on a show. I can't say which one--

ASA:  I was on a few shows.

ME:  But we're not going to say which ones, because I can't give away who you are.

ASA:  Okay. Yes.

ME:  But you have been on television many times and many people know who you are.

ASA:  In other words, I'm famous.

ME:  But do you have the blue checkmark?

ASA:  Yes, honey, I do have the blue checkmark, do you?

ME:  No, but I hear for thirty-five hundred, I can buy one.

ASA:  Who told you that?

ME:  That's coming up in a future interview.

ASA:  Is that true?

ME:  It is--Well, it's different on each platform. Instagram is thirty-five hundred and Twitter is more. Facebook is the cheapest.

ASA:  And who do you pay?

ME:  There are websites for that.

ASA:  So it doesn't even mean anything?

ME:  None of that shit means anything. That's why it's insane that we still put value in it.

ASA:  Can I sell my checkmark for thirty-five hundred? I don't need it that much.

ME:  Asa, you're rich. What do you need thirty-five hundred for?

ASA:  I am not rich, we are in a pandemic, and I have two new baby terriers.

ME:  Times is hard, Mr. Todd.

ASA:  Times IS hard, Mr. Todd.

ME:  But let's talk about the Anchorman.

ASA:  Okay.

ME:  Were you already famous when you met him?

ASA:  I had been on--the first show that everybody--see, this is hard.

ME:  Just say The Show.

ASA:  I had been on The Show--the one everybody knows me from--and that had aired, and the first season was over, and yeah, people knew that that had happened.

ME:  Were you getting approached when you went out or--

ASA:  See, I grew up here, so everybody already knew who I was, but the people who were--I think you think that when something like that happens to you, like, now you're on television, and your Instagram blows up, you think the people who were not nice to you before are going to start acting different and you're going to have the chance to, like, have them be fake nice to you so you can call them out on not being nice to you before, and that is not what happens. If they were mean to you before, they're going to be even meaner.

ME:  Because now they don't like you AND they're jealous.

ASA:  That, yes.

ME:  You told me that some people would get in the DM's though and--

ASA:  Yes. They want to know--They're, like, testing it out to see if you're going to hold it against them that they treated you like s*** for a long time. They send you a 'I saw you on the show! You're a star!' and if you don't tell them to get ****ed, they think it's cool to make you their new best friend.

ME:  How many people did you tell to get ****ed?

ASA:  I never responded. The few times it happened.

ME:  That feels worse.

ASA:  That it only happened a few times?

ME:  No, that you didn't respond?

ASA:  It was more satisfying in the long run.

ME:  Where did you meet the Anchorman?

ASA:  We were at a bar that's not around anymore on ______ Street, and, uh, I was there with some friends for--I think Silas was there, but we were there for another friend's birthday. And I see this guy at the end of the bar. He's good-looking, well-dressed. Suit and tie, which you don't really see a lot at a bar--not that bar, especially--and I go over to say 'Hello.'

ME:  What was your first impression of him?

ASA:  I thought it was weird that he wouldn't introduce himself to me.

ME:  What was the reason for that?

ASA:  He never introduces himself. He tells people to look him up.

ME:  ...He's anchorman.

ASA:  Yes, he is.

ME:  On...the local news?

ASA:  Yes.

ME:  What did you think when he said that to you?

ASA:  I thought--I thought he was joking, to be honest. I was like--Is he for real?

ME:  But obviously you kept talking to him?

ASA:  I did, at first, just because I was like, Well, now I want to know who he is.

ME:  How did you figure it out?

ASA:  He was there with one of his co-workers, and they introduced him. The whole time he was laughing and saying 'You really don't know who I am?'

ME:  Wow.

ASA:  I know.

ME:  And he really thought you would know who he was?

ASA:  He did.

ME:  Did he know who you were?

ASA:  He said he didn't, but then later on, he admitted that he did.

ME:  So you're already admitting that you didn't immediately stop talking to him that night?

ASA:  I have a weakness for cocky guys. I know I shouldn't, but there's something in me that wants to, like, break them of that.

ME:  Uh huh.

ASA:  I remember thinking at the time that this was the first chance I was going to have to, kind of, one up somebody. Like, here was this guy trying to show off, and I'm on a show millions of people are watching, and he's trying to make a big deal out of being on the news.

ME:  So you thought this was a fight you could win?

ASA:  Yes.

ME:  Did you?

ASA:  No.

ME:  (Laughs.)  Asa, come on.

ASA:  Because here's the thing--what he was--is--He's this, you know, it sounds cliche, but, this big fish in a small pond. All the guys who decided they didn't like me? They decided they did love him. On paper, you'd want to be me. No question. But socially speaking, in the Community, I was still the same person. I hadn't gone up the ladder whatsoever. He was at the top of the ladder.

ME:  So he could feel superior to you within the confines of the Community?

ASA:  Yes.

ME:  Did you ever think about moving somewhere else?

ASA:  I had no reason to think that if my ass showed up in another city, it wouldn't be the same thing.

ME:  That's fair.

ASA:  I'm not trying to make it sound like I had no friends and nobody liked me. He was--He was more, uh--

ME:  Coveted?

ASA:  That, yes. He was more coveted by everybody.

ME:  Gotcha.

ASA:  I don't look that good in a suit.

ME:  You're very cute, Asa.

ASA:  Thank you, bb.

ME:  And I've seen him, and he's nothing to write home about.

ASA:  He's got a look that we don't really have here. I think--He's not from here. He had moved a few months before I met him, and when he got here, I think he said, back home, where he was from, he wasn't this, like, top guy that everybody wanted.

ME:  So he's not a top?

ASA:  Kevinnn--

ME:  Listen, I'm just going by what you tell me.

ASA:  He was fresh meat. That's all it was.

ME:  When was the next time you saw him?

ASA:  He followed me on Instagram--

ME:  Did he follow you or--

ASA:  I followed him.

ME:  Mhmmm.

ASA:  Not trying to have you catch me in a lie.

ME:  You already lied.

ASA:  I confessed. He followed me.

ME:  This is supposed to be one of the nicer interviews.

ASA:  None of your interviews are nice.

ME:  No, I'm not nice. The interviews are lovely.

ASA:  (Laughs.)  Ay yi yi.

ME:  So you follow him, and then what?

ASA:  He invited me to dinner at his place.

ME:  At 35 West?

ASA:  Yes.

ME:  How was that?

ASA:  That dinner was good. The meal was good. He told me he cooked it. He didn't.

ME:  He got takeout?

ASA:  Yes.

ME:  How did you know?

ASA:  Because I've eaten at the restaurant where he got it from.

ME:  Did you bust him on that?

ASA:  No. I thought it was funny. Everything with him is, like, you're waiting for him to show you he's in on the joke.

ME:  And then he never does?

ASA:  He never does.

ME:  Is that dinner where he admitted that he knew about you being on the show?

ASA:  Yes.

ME:  So he confessed to that much at least?

ASA:  Well, what happened was, I saw on his profile that he had posted about liking the show, so I asked him about it, and that's when he came clean.

ME:  At the time, did you think he asked you to come over because you were on the show?

ASA:  I tried believing that that wasn't the case, but even then, I think I knew it was.

ME:  So you don't think he would have had you over otherwise?

ASA:  No.

ME:  What made you think that?

ASA:  Because even that night, he was being--He was asking me questions like 'Where do you live?' I tell him. I live on _______ Avenue. 'Why do you live there?' 'Where else should I live?' 'It's ghetto over there.'

ME:  Wow.

ASA:  That's when I kind of shut down, and I thanked him for the meal, and then I left.

ME:  Then what happened?

ASA:  That's when he started, uh, showing his true self, I would say.

ME:  Like in the apartment that night?

ASA:  No. The next day, I get a message--Why did you leave so early last night? I told him that--I basically told him the truth, that I didn't find his comment to be acceptable, and that I found him to be rude and, uh, like a snob.

ME:  How did he take that?

ASA:  He was like 'I am not rude. I am the nicest person you will ever meet. You have a thing against me because I'm a hard worker.' Like, how am I going to have something against you being a hard worker? Am I not a hard worker? That's code for something, bb. Come to find out, he doesn't even pay for that apartment, which I kind of knew, because I know the rent there, and I know--I asked around, I should say, and I found out what he was making at his job, and it wasn't enough to cover that apartment or his suits that he wears.

ME:  Well if you're going to go around acting like a celebrity, you gotta look the part.

ASA:  He goes 'I bet you got a kick out of rejecting me, because you think you're better than me, because you're on ________ and that show ****ing sucks anyway.'

ME:  Didn't you say he posted about it?

ASA:  He did, but by then, I'm blocking you. We're done. Bye.

ME:  Now this is where it gets interesting, right?

ASA:  You didn't think it was interesting before?

ME:  No, I was falling asleep.

ASA:  (Laughs.)  You're a rudeass ***** too!

ME:  I know, but Silas told me the part about him talking about you on the news--

ASA:  Oh god.

ME:  Is that true?

ASA:  I wasn't going to talk about that.

ME:  That's the best part.

ASA:  It gets worse than that.

ME:  But tell the part about the news.

ASA:  Somebody else told me about this, because you know I don't watch local news, I'm not a thousand years old.

ME:  Let's not get ageist.

ASA:  Even my grandparents don't watch the news. I don't know anybody who watches local news, but yeah. He and his--the lady he works with--the other anchor--they're talking about their weekend, and he goes 'You know what tv show I can't stand?  __________.' They were talking about movies or something, and he moves it to talking about tv shows. He goes 'I can't stand ________ and that actor on it, Asa, he's so bad.'

ME:  No, he did not.

ASA:  I can send you the clip if you want. I have it on my phone.

ME:  I can't believe that.

ASA:  I was like, Damn, she's pressed.

ME:  Was that the only time that happened?

ASA:  No!  He did it like five more times.

ME:  Stop.

ASA:  The other lady, she goes--like, the last time he did it--'Boy, you really hate that guy, huh?'

ME:  Little did she know.

ASA:  'Cause I'm not the one, I go on Instagram, and I tell my side of it, that I ate takeout at his apartment that his parents pay for--

ME:  How did you know his parents pay for it?

ASA:  He got ratted out by another guy he went on a date with, which is--Every guy who goes out with him walks away with a bad taste in their mouth, because he think he's god's gift.

ME:  So you tell your side of the story on Instagram.

ASA:  I do. I say, 'Can everybody stop gassing up this ***** and telling him how hot he looks, because his head is already too big for that scrawny body. He needs to get off that Peloton and lift a little.'

ME:  Oh ****.

ASA:  I was fired up. He got that bigass hair trying to hide that big head like Dolly Parton.

ME:  Did he find out about it?

ASA:  Yes, he did. I get a message on Snapchat of him on a date with this guy I used to date and the message was 'Learning a lot.'

ME:  That is Fatal Attraction-style craziness.

ASA:  I talked to the guy later on, because we didn't fall out or anything, and he said [The Anchorman] just asked to take a picture with him, and he didn't say what he was going to do with it. But the whole time they were having dinner, he was asking about me.

ME:  How did he find out you two used to date?

ASA:  There's pictures of us on my--

ME:  On your Instagram, right. But you blocked him?

ASA:  He must have looked before I blocked him.

ME:  Did he reach out to anyone else you had photos with on there?

ASA:  Everybody. He was trying to dig up dirt.

ME:  Like me.

ASA:  Just like you, *****.

ME:  He didn't reach out to me.

ASA:  I don't have any pictures with you.

ME:  That's right.

ASA:  I'm trying to gain followers, bb, not lose them.

ME:  (Laughs.)  When does he cook your rabbit?

ASA:  What?

ME:  That's from Fatal Attraction.

ASA:  I never saw that.

ME:  No, you lived it.

ASA:  He started buying fake followers because of me though.

ME:  He did?

ASA:  When we met, he kept talking about--at his apartment--how I must be freaking out, because I have all these new followers because of the show.

ME:  And the blue checkmark.

ASA:  He talked about that too. I go, 'Yeah, it's nice.' Next thing I know, the next day, he's got ten thousand more than me.

ME:  How many did he have before that?

ASA:  He had--It was a lot less than me. It had probably been more before I was on the show, because before then, I didn't have hardly any followers, but I remember looking him up and knowing the number was below mine--

ME:  This conversation is so gross.

ASA:  (Laughs.)  Do you want to stop?

ME:  No, keep going.

ASA:  Okay, then. He had a lot less, and the next day he's got as many as me plus ten thousand.

ME:  So he bought them?

ASA:  I called him out on that. 'I didn't buy them.' 'Gurl, you didn't gain that many followers in a day. Just say you bought them.' Wouldn't say it.

ME:  I like that he couldn't just catch up to you. He had to go ten thousand beyond you.

ASA:  Had to really put me in my place.

ME:  Did he talk about that on the news?

ASA:  He did!

ME:  I was kidding!

ASA:  No, but he did. He went on and said he was excited because he just hit so many followers. Whatever that number was.

ME:  You know, if anybody watched the news, this is the kind of stuff people would get mad about.

ASA:  If anybody cared.

ME:  And do people in the Community really treat him like a celebrity?

ASA:  I don't think they care that he's on the news so much as like, he's this guy who presents as being, you know, someone of wealth, someone well-spoken, it's an interesting job--

ME:  They get turned on by newscaster voice.

ASA:  (Laughs.)  They want him to use in the bedroom.

ME:  (Newscaster voice.)  'You won't believe where this guy keeps his lube. Tonight at eleven.'

ASA:  (Laughs.)  You're in the wrong field, bb.

ME:  Yeah, if I had a journalism degree.

ASA:  He doesn't have a journalism degree.

ME:  He must.

ASA:  No, he got ratted out by one of the girls he went to school with. He was getting an acting degree and then he dropped out.

ME:  So he's an actor?

ASA:  He IS an anchorman, but he doesn't have a journalism degree.

ME:  Don't you need to have one?

ASA:  I thought so, but I guess not.

ME:  Or a communications degree.

ASA:  He even told the bartender at ______ that he didn't have one. That when they hired him they were looking for a personality.

ME:  What's next?  Are they going to have failed supermodels doing the weather?

ASA:  It's like we said before, if anybody watched, maybe somebody would care.

ME:  Somebody must watch.

ASA:  Yeah, my uncle before he puts on Tucker Carlson.

ME:  You said he's had other run-ins with guys in the Community?

ASA:  Some bad, some real bad.

ME:  What was the worst you heard about?

ASA:  The last guy he was dating, the guy got fired from his job, because of the pandemic, and I guess he was cool with it, because he always wanted to be a teacher anyway. Like, he was this corporate guy and then he said 'I'm going to go into teaching because that's what I wanted to do anyway' and [The Anchorman] broke up with him, and told him it was because he wanted to be with somebody on his level.

ME:  That sounds familiar.

ASA:  Then he goes and hosts the Teacher of the Year awards that we do here.

ME:  You're kidding.

ASA:  Same week.

ME:  In the interest of finding more solutions to the kinds of problems we talk about on here, how do you think a Community should deal with someone like that?

ASA:  I think you have to--Like, we create people like that.

ME:  How?

ASA:  We say that you have value or you get to be at the top of the ladder if you have certain things, and those things are always looks and money. Most of the time, if you got looks and money, but you're not secure in that, because you might not always have had looks or you might not always have had money, then you act a certain way when you finally get those things. I think if we said 'You know what's sexy? Being funny. Being a nice guy. Treating people nice. All that.' If you're going to act like a ****, but guys are still going to be hitting you up, then why are you going to act different? You still have people wanting to go out with you. Take pictures with you. Why are you going to change?

ME:  I want to talk about that more. The currency of being gay. Because, you're right, people will overlook a lot if you can help them advance this perception and--

ASA:  Or sleep with them.

ME:  But I think--A guy like that isn't going to get anywhere just by having people want to sleep with him. Most of these guys I've profiled now are the ones where--I mean, yes, maybe you sleep with them, but there's a publicity element to it.

ASA:  Yes.

ME:  It's like hot people want you to think every element of their life is hot.

ASA:  As a hot person, I can tell you, that's true.

ME:  (Laughs.)  Were there any other examples of him acting a certain way on air or in his role as this person in the Community and then acting a different way in person or on Instagram?

ASA:  All the time. He would do these events for charity, helping people, then you'd see him on Instagram posting videos of himself in _______ or _______ all weekend.

ME:  Why is that a problem?

ASA:  Because you're not part of the Community. You want to come here, go to the bars, bring home boys, be like a Gay Housewife of ______--Sorry, I'm not supposed to say where we are.

ME:  I'll edit it out.

ASA:  But he wants to act that way, and then any minute he's free, it's like--On a plane, on a plane.

ME:  I always say that gay men think the gym and traveling to the same three places are a personality type.

ASA:  He was reporting on the pandemic and then going to ________, no masks.

ME:  That's come up before--with the Gaycationeer.

ASA:  You want to be this professional, put-together guy--Mommy and Daddy are paying for your apartment, your suits--

ME:  Who's paying for the trips?

ASA:  I don't know, but one guy didn't come back from the last one.

ME:  What do you mean?

ASA:  You didn't hear about Abe?

ME:  No.

ASA:  Silas didn't tell you?

ME:  No. Who's Abe?

ASA:  How much time you got?

Asa is currently filming a television show on location.