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American Idol Recapped: Put the Damn Guitars Away

First off, how awkward and homoerotic was that introduction? It looked like Ryan was trying to determine which guy was going to be in charge of his evening spongebath.

Lee Dewyze: Great. The show starts off with my least favorite song of the past five years, and it sounds like John Mayer's singing it. Then a minute or so in, it actually got...interesting. For one thing, he took a techno song and made it sound a lot like a straight-up pop song. He ended up improving on the original, though the original wasn't all that great, so I'd give him a B+ overall. I think he's got one of the better looks in the competition from the boys, and that's a factor when you consider that when you line up all the contestants they look like a traveling circus.

Alex Lambert: Another guy with a guitar that sounds like John Mayer. How angry do you think Alex is that he lost that coin toss with Lee? Overall, I thought song choice became an issue. The song just sort of meanders along. He did what he could to make it more dynamic, but it still felt like it went on forever.

Sidenote: I miss the theme nights--even the early-in-the-competition theme nights. I think these contestants suffer from having too much to choose from. When they'd limit them to a decade or a genre, they were forced to be creative and show off more range. It also helped them zero in on the right song for them. I feel like this season everyone's lost in back issues of Billboard.

I thought the performance was okay. I think he, as a performer, has absolutely no star power.

Tim Urban: First of all, I think it's a little too soon after--(Okay, I hate saying this, but it's true)--after Jason Castro's memorable performance of this song two years ago to bust it out here, and then do absolutely nothing to it that Jason didn't already do with his zen-like way of performing--and by zen-like, I mean, he was stoned the entire season. The look was a little too Neil Diamond for me. Overall, I think it got a little too campus coffee house, but I'm sure it would still land him a hippie Women's Studies major, so there's that. I think that it's a really hard song to do poorly, so I think by picking it, you're playing it safe, and I think that should have been taken into consideration.

Andrew Garcia: Okay, I think at this point the judges are just encouraging him to be a novelty act. I liked the version of the song, but if his only appeal comes from taking popular songs by female artists and turning them into acoustic Jason Mraz-type songs, then that's going to get old--fast. Also, he looks like Lea Delaria and Rosario from "Will and Grace" had a baby and taught it to play guitar. So let's be honest, do we actually think this kid is going to be selling lunch boxes with his face on them anytime soon? All that being said, I'd still buy the track on ITunes. I'm a sucker for novelty acts.

Casey James: Oh sweet Jesus, another guitar. I agree with Randy; the song choice was incredibly safe. Do these people have any concept of what it means to be on television? I don't mind country, but why go soft country? Country can be fun! This was a nap and a glass of milk. As far as looks, he needs to get somebody to do something with that hair. It looks like they pulled him off the beach, took the bagged bottle of vodka out of his hand, and sent him onstage. Overall, it wasn't impressive to establish him as someone who could even come close to winning.

Aaron Kelly: At first I thought, Yay! No guitar! Then the song started... Oh God, was that a trainwreck. The first few lines sounded like he was singing them through gritted teeth. He never seemed to actually FIND the song. I think at its best it was Lite Rock on a Sunday night, but is that what these people think they need to be shooting for? Whoever let him walk onstage with that outfit on should be fired, shot, and then dumped in the same bay they pulled Casey James out of before the show. This kid has a total boy band voice--he needs to familiarize himself with the TRL canon. (God, I'm old.)

Sidenote: Can they please stop putting high school students on this show? I doubt the high school kids in the country care if someone their age is on Idol, and even if they do, I don't. Everyone on the show this year in that age group is clearly out of their league, and they need to bump the age limit up to eighteen and leave it there.

Todrick Hall: Janet, I think we found your Rhythm Nation costume. The opening was a little too falsetto for me. After that, I was all about it. Thank God somebody figured out how to use those back-up singers. Finally it was a performance with not only a good vocal, but something to WATCH. I thought he could have done a little bit more with the low parts, and I thought he could have taken aspects of the performance even farther. Of course, Simon had to bust out the "You're a Broadway singer" comment, which I detest. At least somebody mentioned "Glee." Busting out "Somebody to Love" isn't really an original song choice anymore. That being said, it was a well-thought out performance.

Michael Lynch: Falsetto, unnecessary. Moving on--I thought he was the sharpest dresser of the night. I liked the song choice. He's got a Ruben thing going on. Granted, Ruben doesn't sell albums anymore, but he sure was fun to root for. I feel like you get at least one Michael Lynch a season. Soulful guy who usually makes it into top ten, but doesn't go much further. I like Michael more than I liked Macaroni and Cheezie, and I liked that he took the song all the way as opposed to Todrick who let a lot of opportunities pass. For me, it was the best performance of the night.

...Until that damn falsetto reared its ugly head again.

Worst of the Night: Aaron
Best of the Night: Michael

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